Grace and Serenity

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I was first introduced to this author through Booksirens and her book Small Forgotten Moments (a fantastic book, pick it up if you haven't already). I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this book. The description sounded sad and yet I was intrigued with it at the same time. As I was reading it I felt a huge range of emotions. Sadness, anger, understanding, and a sense that this could literally happen or be happening at this very moment to any woman out there. I cried in places too, which is something I don't often do. As a mother, this story is gut wrenching and I wonder how the author came up with the story. Did she know someone who went through this, read about it or heaven forbid-did she experience it herself?

Grace is a 17 year old girl who just wants to have a good time. She is about to embark on a new life. One of carefree days and college. She decides to attend a party with a friend, Janie, and it is there she meets Neil for the first time. Neil, a few years older than her, who saw her at the party and made her feel special. From the beginning they were inseparable. Hanging out all the time. But little signs started to show that all was not well with Neil. His saying he didnt like her friends, not liking her hanging out with other boys, being upset she did well on her exams, that she'd go off to college and leave him. Even laughing at her dreams of being a journalist. 

All of it comes to a head when she discovers she's pregnant. He instantly denies its his, calling her names and leaving her. By the time she tells her parents, she's only got 4 months left until that baby comes. Some time goes by and Neil returns. Says he sorry for leaving her and proposes marriage. She knows its not the best idea, but succumbs anyway, thinking of her baby and their predicament. From the beginning things are not well between them. He is controlling, taking the keys when he leaves so she's stuck at home, calling her to see where she is all the time, expecting her to cook and clean despite having a newborn baby to care for and no help.

It doesn't get any better. The beating are regular and vicious, even causing a miscarriage. When Neil almost kills her, she decides its time to leave and goes to her parents house. But Neil has other plans and he gets custody of Sarah. This sends Grace spiraling and she ends up a drunk, homeless mess. Things go from bad to worse when she's pulled into prostitution. Eventually she gets out and ends back at her parents house. But things are not what she thought they'd be. Her parents have reconciled with Neil so they can have contact with Ren. 

This story is tremendously sad. Domestic abuse if often hidden and many women feel shameful over it. The mental decline that Grace suffers leaps off the page. You are thrown into her spiral and cant help but feel like reaching into to the book to rescue her. Its easy to see how someone can get sucked into believing the things they are told by an abuser, especially one that hides it well. 

I decided to give this book 4.8 stars only because I am not too sure how I feel about the ending. Its kind of left open, not much wrapped up. But overall, I really like this story, as much as one can like a story of abuse and sadness. The writing is fantastic and well crafted. There is a clever little addition to the story that helps Grace along but I wont spoil it. This is a book all women should read. I am very much looking forward to more from this author.